Not Writing

I now have time to write.

Instead I blog, I discover new blogger backgrounds, I think about doing my family history, I think about that book of poetry I want to put together, I find a really cool Jane Austen book in Chapters that looks like a scrapbook and wonder how I can get my journal or poetry book to look like that, I think about those blog backgrounds and I end up looking up digital scrapbooking.

Big mistake.

Because now I want to play with that instead of writing something that might sell.

I love writing once I get into the "zone", but getting to that zone becomes something I put off. It's like a journey I know I want to go on but the packing is overwhelming, so instead I clean, organize, surf the net, exercise, surf the net, oh who knows what I end up doing instead of real writing.

I only have myself to blame.

I have a guest post on Blog Segullah. Chasing Rainbows

I also discovered that an article that I wrote for my college newspaper is on the net. An Old Dog Learns New Tricks

And to read about what I said about Phyllis A. Whitney and a review of two of her books, go to Views from Hobbit Hole.

If I type in my name to a search engine I get me, which can be disconcerting because it also brings up everything I ever said on other people's blogs.

And for those of you who remember momsense from Anita Renfroe, here's another. This woman is brilliant. I showed it to my 10 year old daughter who's a Tayor Swift fan and she was horrified. "Bad Mom!" she exclaimed. "That's just wrong."

Motorcycles, Vampires and Spike and Snarl

Okay, folks, she's back. Aunt Madge is back offering her advice. Sigh.

"Sigh, you sigh? Like it's a bad thing? I give great advice. I knew I should have stayed and run your blog while you were off at school, but no, I had to go travel the world..."

"You did not travel the world."

"You don't know what I did. You were too busy not learning Spanish."

"Can we not talk about the Spanish please?"

"We'll talk about motorcycles instead. Just go over to my blog at Ask Aunt Madge.

"Motorcycles? You're giving advice on motorcycles? Have you ever been on a motorcycle?"

"I had one."

"A motor scooter that you have to pedal to get going is not the same thing."

"Just go read the post."
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Things that make you go hmmm.

First time novelist Elizabeth Kostova received an advance of 2 million dollars for her 2005 book, "The Historian", a novel about Vlad the Impaler.

Where can I get that deal? Because I can't think of anyone who needs it more than me.

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A story of mine will be featured at Blog Segullah on Sunday.

Cindy Beck mentions me in her blog post about Spike and Snarl. Thanks Cindy!

Hey Mom, Can I Have a Beer?

I had an interesting conversation with a teenage girl.

According to her, many of her friends are raised in homes where alcohol is served to them at fairly young ages. We're talking 1o year olds here. Having a can of beer or a glass of wine with your parents is just a part of life for these kids.

Now I'm aware that many parents will give their underage teenagers alcohol because "they're going to drink anyway and I'd rather they did it under my roof where I know they're safe." I'm not even going to discuss that logic. But giving alcohol to 10 year olds is a new one to me.

I come from an alcoholic home. My parents found it amusing when I was 5 to see my reaction when I took a sip of beer or wine. I figured out at a fairly early age (12) that if I didn't want to become an alcoholic then I better just stay away from the stuff altogether. I firmly believe that although alcoholism is classified as a disease, unlike other diseases which you can get no matter how many precautions you take, alcoholism is completely preventable simply by never partaking. You can't become an alcoholic if you never drink alcohol. Pretty simple.

But what if you're served alcohol at a young age? What if you're not old enough to make an informed decision? What if you don't know that there is a choice?

I'm not suggesting that everyone who drinks is going to become an alcoholic. Many people are able to enjoy a glass of wine at dinner or a beer at a football game without a problem, but the thing is there is no way of knowing who will be able to handle it and who won't.

And parents who think nothing of giving their children (and I do mean children) alcohol don't strike me as the type of people who drink responsibly and within moderation. I admit I could be wrong on that but it doesn't sound responsible to encourage your children to drink. If a child is wired to become an alcoholic then you can't teach them to drink responsibility and before you know it you've got a teenager with an addiction.

Out of all the drugs that are a problem with teenagers, alcohol is the number one with tobacco as two. Both legal substances that are easy for kids to get their hands on.

Now, I'm not the type to advocate entering people's homes and playing Big Brother. But I can't help but wonder what these parents are thinking.

I realize that not everyone has my aversion to alcohol nor my absolute no-drinking stance no matter what age, but what's wrong with waiting until your kids are legally adults and bear the responsibility themselves?

I'm Back

Yes, I am back. Now if I can just remember how to do this.

I've gone back to school. I'm an English major and just finished my first year. Why go back at 40 something and hang around a bunch of people who are not only younger than some of my children, but younger than shoes I have? Well, it ain't easy finding work, and writing, unless your Stephen King, J.K. Rowling or Stephenie Meyer just doesn't pay the bills.

So there I am writing poetry, taking drama classes and trying to learn Spanish and not writing in my blog because who has time? But my first year is finished, my exams are all done, the final marks are in and I even squeezed in a weekend playwrighting workshop where my play was read by professional actors.

So now I'm back. Back to real writing, back to blog writing, back to Aunt Madge and book reviews and back to rejection slips, at least until September when it's back to school.

Cheating and a Little Late

Okay, it's the 7th today. Seven days after Canada Day. We celebrate it here on the July 1st but I'm too lazy to stay on top of things.

So here's a post from a couple of years ago and a quiz. Do you know all the answers? Some of the answers? To be fair I didn't ask anything in the quiz that I couldn't answer myself about Americans (and it's a lot harder to memorize 50 states than 10 provinces and 2 territories.)

Sorry no prizes. I'm poor. It's just for fun.

So here's the post...

I am grateful that I live in a country where I can speak as I please. I am not discriminated against because I'm a woman. I can worship any way I want to. If my child is sick he/she can receive free care and I don't have to lose everything I own in the process. I can receive an education. I can buy property. My choices are mine, not one told to me by government. There is food to eat even though I'm poor. I have shelter. There are laws to protect me but not to infringe on my freedom. I know there are other great countries in the world and I know that Canada ranks up there as one of the best. There are things I don't like about Canada (like the weather) but many I do. I'm also grateful for the good neighbors we have in the U.S.

And for you non-Canadians there, here's a test to see how much you know about Canada. It's an easy test and based on the things I know about the states.

1. Can you name the 10 provinces and 3 territories?
2. Who is the current prime minister?
3. Who was the first prime minister of Canada?
4. What is the capital of Canada and where is it?
5. What three oceans surround Canada?
6. What's the official language?
7. What's the national anthem?
8. What's the official emblem?
9. What's the official animal?
10. What figurehead/symbol is on all Canadian money and what color is our money?

Did you know that land wise Canada is the second largest country in the world. Only Russia is bigger. Canada and the US share the longest border in the world. Canada has the most coastline in the world, and although we don't have a tropical paradise like Hawaii, California or Florida, we do have one of the largest rain forests in the world. It's on Vancouver Island where I'm originally from.

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Book Review: To Have Or To Hold by Josi S. Kilpack Take a moment and see what I have to say about this LDS author's work.

Giveaway: Anne Bradshaw from Not Entirely British is giving away a book. Pursued by Lynn Gardner. It looks like an exciting mystery adventure.

"I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up"

My friend Trisha came to church with us Sunday. At the end of church, when I dropped of my mother at her apartment building, Trisha got out of the van to change seats and consequently fell on the sidewalk while attempting to close the sliding door. How she did it I don't know. But she did, and then she couldn't get back up. She has a bad ankle and she's a little on the heavy side, which is not a judgement on my part because I am too. Okay, I'm a lot on the heavy side.

So I'm trying to get her back up, and then my 75 year old mother, who is also on the heavy side and has a walker, and has purple legs due to some condition, decides to help Trisha. Before I know it, Mom comes over without her walker and bends down to help pull Trisha up. I could see what would happen. I knew what was going to happen. I tried to stop it from happening, but before I could tell Mom to stop whatever she was doing, my mother fell down.

If we thought getting Trisha up was a problem, (she did get up) it was nothing compared to helping my mother off the ground. She was unhurt (except for banging her head) but she simply could not get her legs under her to get herself up even with help. And she was wearing a skirt.
"No, don't help me anymore," she said after several attempts, which I can't blame her for since I was useless.

We called 911.

Once I knew my mother was okay and it was only her dignity on the line, I could see the humor in the situation and the resulting domino effect.

“Tell them I've fallen and I can't get up,” my mother told Trisha who was on the phone with the dispatcher.

“She wants to know how far she's fallen,” Trisha said.

“She fell from standing to sitting,” I replied.

Three handsome paramedics, who looked like actors in a show about paramedics rather than real paramedics, came and immediately asked my mother if her head and neck were okay and if she had any injuries.

“I just need help getting up,” she insisted.

One cute paramedic asked Trisha and me what happened. When we explained the situation he couldn't help laughing.

“It's a good thing you didn't fall down too,” Trisha said to me. "Can you imagine all of us lying in the grass unable to get up?"

“I would have gotten myself up again,” I said wanting to maintain my dignity in front of these guys who like I said, looked like they belonged on a television show instead of in front of my mother's building.

They managed to get my mother on her feet easily because that's what big, strong, handsome paramedics do.

“Do you want me to walk you to your apartment?” I asked her.

“No, I can get there myself,” she insisted. “I'm independent.

“All right,” I nodded allowing her some shred of dignity.

You can bet those guys went back to the fire station and had a good laugh.

I swear I saw this episode on Emergency.

My nine-year old daughter having overheard my remark about being able to get myself up couldn't resist saying "Two grandma's, one who can get up and one who can't."

My life is a sitcom.

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To enter a giveaway for a gift certificate and find out more about LDSWA go to Anne Bradshaws blog Not Entirely British.

The Dream Scheme Part 2: Do the Math

Some of you few, very few, will recall that I wrote about the great Dream Scheme. You can read about it here. The Dream Scheme Part 1. Or you can just scroll down several posts and read the others on the way.

So for the Dream Scheme 2 we're going to do a little math. Stop groaning. I'll do the math, just follow along.

When you're approached with the great money making opportunity you will be told that it's simple, all you have to do is get five people to join and then help them get five, and so on and so on and so on. The concept being that you will make a percentage off of each of these people. It's so easy. After all it's only five people out of the hundreds that you know. Apparently you do know hundreds. The Dream Scheme people have statistics to show this. You just think about all the people you run into at church, work, your kid's school, clubs, places you volunteer, the shops you frequent, your old school friends, the doctor's office - anyone you have ever met and will meet. Surely you can find five people who will want to share in this great opportunity. Once you get them then you can help them with their five. It's so doable. Now lets doable the math.

Level 1 - Start with you. 1 person =1
Level 2 - Get 5 to join = 5 + you = 6
Level 3 - Those 5 people get 5 more each. 5x5=25 + 6 = 31
Level 4 - 25 people get 5 more each. 25x5=125 + 31 = 156
Level 5 - 125 people get 5 more each. 125X5=625 +156=781
Level 6 - 625 people get 5 more each. 625x5=3125 + 781=3906
Level 7 - 3125 people get 5 more each. 3125X5=15,625 + 3125 =18,750
Level 8 - 15,625 people get 5 more each. 15,625X5=78,125 + 18,750 = 96,875
Level 9 - 78,125 people get 5 more each. 78,125X5=390,625 +96,875 = 487,500
Level 10 - 390,625 people get 5 more each. 390,625X5=1,953,125 +487,500=2,440,625

Okay at level 10 we're at over 2 million people.
Level 11 has us at over a billion people.
By level 12 you've come to a number large than the population of the earth.

And what level do you actually start at? You know it's not number 1.

But you may say, no one is going to have those numbers.

Exactly. You can't get that many people to join. If you did, who would be left to do the actual work? Including making those products you're supposed to be selling.

So somewhere along the line someone is not making those numbers. They're failing. In fact pretty well everyone is failing, and they're being taken doing it because they have to invest in those products and tapes and everything else to stay in the business.

The only ones making money are the ones at the top. And it isn't you. And if it is, you're doing it by taking advantage of others. If you're seriously thinking of joining find out what level you're at in the great scheme and why is it that all those ahead of you haven't done the 5x5x5 thing because if they have, where are all those people?

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Lori Copeland has been writing for around 30 years now and has almost a hundred books to her name. Go to Welcome to Morning Shade for a review of three of her books.

And for a contest to win the book Easterfield by Anna Jones Buttimore go to Not Entirely British.