Thursday, February 12, 2009

I'm Sick as in Hack! Hack!

I'm sick.

It's not serious. Just a cough that makes the flem rise in my throat so that I end up choking, unable to breathe and giving me visions of passing out gasping for air.

Has anyone ever died of flem suffocation?

When I'm sick I prefer to be like an old dog that curls up in a secret place and dies. I don't want anyone around me. I don't want to bother anyone. I don't want phone calls, or visits at the door to cheer me up, or someone plumping my pillows. Such visits would require me to clean my house and entertain, and I'm just not up to singing and dancing and doing my Margaret Hamilton impersonation quite yet.

My children who also have a cough are different.

"What do you want?" I snap at my 15 year old daughter who has come into my inner sanctum.

"I'm sick," she whines. She pulls the quilt she's wearing closer around her.

"So? What do you want me to do about it? You're thinking I have the superpower of healing?"

"I just want to hang out."

"But I'm sick too, and I don't want to hang out with anyone. Don't you have a sibling somewhere you can hang out with?"

Okay, I know. Bad Mom. When I'm sick I don't care. There is a reason why I didn't become a nurse. I can't stand sick people. They whine and expect you to take care of them and they don't get your death jokes.

"Mom, what's for dinner?" Someone asks.

"I don't know. I don't care. I'm sick. There's the fridge, there's the cupboard, there's the stove. Figure it out."

There's no one else around here that can drive. So I go out in the frigid temperatures taking kids to dance classes, church activities and seminary.

My fifteen year old just walked into my inner sanctum. "What are you doing?" she asks.

"I'm writing about being sick. You want to hear it?" I begin reading to her. "I'm sick. Nothing serious. Just a cough that makes the flem rise..."

"Oh, gross! I'm not listening!" She makes a beeline for the door.

"But it's got you in it!" I call out to her.

"I don't care! It's gross!" she yells back and disappears.

I think I've found the secret to getting them to leave me alone when I'm sick.

Lots to read today. Are you a Twilighter? Or just thinking about reading the books? Or do you hate them but still like reviews. Read my review of New Moon.
As part of my abuse series I've written a post based on an article in Meridian Magazine. Read Church Leaders Urge Us To Stay Married. Now before you read it, just know that I have no problem with Church leaders urging us to stay married. I have a problem with the article written by this particular couple.
But then, I've never been afraid of a little controversy.


Cindy Beck, author said...

You poor thing ... sitting there hacking your head off. Maybe you should have Aunt Madge fix you some chicken soup.

Well, okay, on second thought it's hard to tell what Aunt Madge would put in that soup, so maybe we'll just let her be and you can eat some of Mrs. Campbell's instead. :)

Hope you feel better soon!

(Oh, and thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting. You should have borrowed some NyQuil from there! :)

Stephanie Humphreys said...

Sorry to hear you aren't feeling well. I think you are allowed to be a little grumpy when you're sick. I always tell my kids that is why illness doesn't spread in our house much. The sick person always gets isolated so it doesn't get spread. Guess that makes me a little of a mean mom, but that's why I didn't become a nurse even though my mom tried to talk me into it. I much prefer healthy people. Hope you feel much better very soon.