I think I’ve figured out how to make a fortune.
First you’ve got to set up a marketing concept. Put yourself at the top, gather a few friends, (you’re going to need them to show that money can be made) let them in on it and put them underneath you in the shape of a pyramid. Now you need a product so that you’re not a pyramid scheme and can call yourself a legal business.
It could be anything because it’s not really the product that matters. It’s the marketing concept that matters.
So then you need to pick something that every one needs. How about personal care items? Soap and toothpaste are good options. So are vitamins and weight loss products especially since everyone is looking for the magic cure these days. Later on you can branch off a bit to water purifiers, cosmetics and groceries. Make sure you price your items very high. After all, your buyers will not be comparison shoppers. You’re going to teach them about loyalty to the product. In fact, you’re going to tell them that they have to spend 500 bucks a month on the product so that they can make money.
Pick a name. Call it The Dream Scheme or some other name that conjures up visions of success. You can always change the name later if there’s any trouble.
Now you’ve got to get people. Trick them into coming to a meeting. You could tell them you’re having a party or offer to take them out to dinner, but get them there somehow. Once you have them trapped, tell them that people who have jobs will never get anywhere. Tell them that people who own their own businesses are miserable and unhappy. Tell them that the only real way to make money is to join your company. Show them that if they buy the product, they’ll get money back, then show them that if they can get a bunch of other people to sign up under them they can earn money off of those people. Just like that old shampoo commercial (I told two friends, and they told two friends, and so on, and so on…) Only don’t limit it to two. Suggest they get 5 or even 10 friends. And then their people can get 5 or 10 more. Of course these numbers can get to like 100 billion people, but people won’t think about that and it looks good on paper. Point out that anyone who doesn’t want to join is either stupid or scared. Tell these people that it will only take a few hours a week.
Someone is going to be unhappy in their job. Play on that. Don’t forget to pull out the pictures of mansions and yachts. Focus on their greed. Be sure to tell them that a few hours a week now, will mean a lifetime of freedom later. Make sure you say that they will be helping others. It will make them feel good.
Now you need to make up bunches of instructional CD’s and hold lots of seminars. Charge your people for it. Charge lots for them. Especially the seminars. You can make a bundle here. Say that they don’t have to go to seminars or buy CD’s – unless they want to be successful.
Later on when these people are working a few hours and struggling, tell them they need to work harder. Point out that a few hours a week is not going to get them anywhere. Reassure them that a few babysitters now will mean much more for their kids later. Tell them the reason they're not doing well is because they’re not buying enough instructional tools. They need to buy more CDs and DVDs, go to more seminars, and buy more product.
Tell them that everybody is a candidate. Get them to think about the company 24/7 or they might miss a great opportunity. Even vacations and family outings are times to work the business.
If someone starts making a little money, encourage them to “live the dream”. This is when you can tell them that you can get them a deal on a car. Of course the deal won’t be any better than at a car lot, in fact make sure he pays more. Emphasize the company loyalty thing. This way, they buy the car from you (more money in your pocket) and then you can also make a percentage from being their upline. Plus it’s a great way to show all those others that people can make money doing this and your car buyer will think he’s getting a great deal because he’s getting some money back. Reassure him that the debt he goes into will be little compared to the money he’ll make.
Don’t forget to tell your people that there will be “negative” people in their life who will tell them that it won’t work. Tell your people to get rid of all negative people in their life even if its close friends and family members. You only want them surrounded by positive people who are in the business or want to join. Make sure their social circle is only made up of company people.
Be sure to tell them that God wants this for them and they’ll be serving God by doing this business.
Make sure people believe that they are close to the top. No one wants to be on the bottom. People on the bottom don’t make money for themselves, they make money for others. Of course they don’t need to know that they are the people on the bottom.
Don’t focus too much on the products. It’s not products you’re selling, it’s a concept. The product is just something tangible to hang the whole thing on and to make sure you’re working within the law. Of course for people to stay in the business they have to buy a lot of product, but remind them that the more product they buy, the more money they’ll make.
And don’t forget to show them the tax breaks. Tell them they can write off their car and house and utilities. Tell them that the taxman will pay them, and they won’t be paying the taxman.
Of course the only people really making money will be you and your friends on the top of the pyramid scheme. Oops, not scheme, dream. It’s a dream. Make sure you say this word over and over again.
And I bet you, if you follow these steps, you’ll make a fortune.
I wrote this several years ago and post it here now in hopes of informing someone. I just read a book called Merchants of Deception that reminded me of this particular column (which by the way my editor refused to publish because he thought it was too controversial and would upset too many people). Hey, but I'm not afraid of a little controversy.
I will be doing a series on MLM's (multi-level marketing) and pyramid schemes. Note, this is not the same thing as the home party businesses. Those businesses are legitimate although they might share some characteristics of MLM's just as MLM's will sometimes do home parties.
And go read my review of Merchants of Deception. You can also get a link to obtaining a free copy of the book there.
The Penny Whistle - B.J. Hoff
1 year ago