Moving Forward in Spite of Rejection

I have always believed that as a writer money should be coming to me, not from me. There are all sorts of scams out there. There are so called editors and agents that are trying to take your money. It's hard to wade through the mess that these guys have created.

On the other hand, publishing is changing. Writers, fed up with the rules that agents have instituted "send us a query and we might get around to reading it. Wait six weeks to find out if we're interested. Don't send to anyone else. We may hang on to it for a year or two and still reject you." And even if by some miracle - lets face it, getting published is like winning the lottery - you do get accepted and published, you are still responsible for all the marketing. Anything can sideline it. You could end up with an ugly cover, a typesetter that doesn't know what he's doing, or a publishing company that is too busy with their big writers to worry about you. The movies depict getting your book published as this wonderful glamorous thing with big parties and catered events and long lines of devotees. It doesn't happen to the little guy.

I've also been reading blogs from writers who have been published the regular way, and been successful, and still unhappy. They aren't making money. We hear about the J.K. Rowlings and the Stephen Kings, but not about the regular author who is barely making ends meet or only does so through the help of another job. These writers claim that they are making more money by self-publishing.

Gasp! Self-publishing! That place where writers sink thousands of dollars to publish bad writing, bad editing and laughable books. That place where ANYONE no matter how bad can get published?

Yep. That place. Only now, it's not so expensive. It's ebooks and Print on Demand. Not only that but no one can tell if you're self-published or had a traditional publishing company. I've been traditonally published, but in this day it doesn't matter. No one takes you seriously anyway.

So I've decided after so much rejection - who knows what these guys want anyway even when you follow all their guidelines it's still a mystery - I've decided that I need to move forward and stop relying on everyone else.

So I am e-book publishing at first. It's free so there's no money going out from me. I'll also be looking into print on demand. I have my people (you know who you are) editing one of my books and I've designed a cover for it. I'm not a designer, but I'm doing the best I can.

Hopefully I can start moving forward.

Things I Learned From Republicans

I am neither Republican or Democrat. I'm Canadian, and therefore don't vote in the coming American election. And I'm grateful for that. However it doesn't mean I can't see what's going on especially when so many Americans are posting on Facebook. Interestingly, it's the Republicans that post the most often, so I thought I would post what I'm seeing Republicans saying. Bear in mind none of this is what I'm saying. I'm just saying what I think they are saying and I'm sure there are Republicans who are not saying these things.  And no, I'm not attacking Mitt Romney. Part of me is supportive of having a Mormon president. It's unlikely there will be Lewinskygate problems.

Note - This is all pretty haphazard.

1. I love America, therefore, I'm a Republican. Democrats hate America.

2. I believe in the democratic process of voting for our president. That's what makes America great. I believe it's our responsibility to support our president - unless he's a Democrat.

3. Everything that is wrong with America is Obama's fault. That stuff that Bush did before Obama was president - that's Obama's fault too.

4. Every American does not have the right to shelter, food or health care. However every American has the right to own and wield a gun.

5. I want more jobs for Americans. Unless I have to pay for them with my taxes.

6. All poor people are lazy and drug addicted.

7. Anyone can get a job whenever they want one. They just have to use Jedi mind control to make people give them one. It's worked for me. If you don't have a job you're either lazy or you haven't learned how to use Jedi mind control.

8. I did everything all by myself. No one ever helped me. I taught myself everything I know. I financed my own house - no borrowing for me. I put myself through school. No student loans or parents help or teachers to teach me. No one ever gave me a job. I walked into a business and took that job (Jedi mind control), when I started my business I used Jedi mind control to make people buy my service/merchandise. Everything I've ever done has been completely done by me. I even changed my own diapers.

9. Everything I have ever earned is mine. All mine. I can't save up for my yacht if I have to provide you with food. Go get a job or five.

10. I don't hate women. I just think that if a woman is in an abusive relationship she should stay there and not make me have to pay for it. Besides, she probably deserves it anyway. And women should just shut up about birth control. If you don't want babies, don't have sex. If you're married, then have the baby. But don't leave your husband ever because I don't want to pay for your kid. Women are all sluts and prostitutes anyway. Even the married ones.

11. Abortion is wrong. Wrong. Wrong. There is no reason for abortion ever. But I don't want to pay for illegitimate children either.

12. There is a difference between legitimate and illegitimate rape. To be legitimately raped you better be pretty well dead, and it all depends on what you're wearing and what your background is. If you get pregnant that's proof that you weren't raped.

13. No morning after pill! Even if you're legitimately raped. But I'm not paying for your kid. Which you wouldn't have to worry about if you're legitimately raped because you wouldn't get pregnant.

14. I don't care if kids are homeless and hungry. That's their parents responsibilty. As long as my kids are taken care of then I'm good.

15. I believe in Jesus and all his teachings. I just don't believe in helping the poor. They got there all by themselves. Besides if they were following Jesus they wouldn't be poor.

16. If you can pay for health care then you deserve to have it. If you can't then tough. That's your problem. If you're going to die then do it and decrease the surplus population. And yes that goes for children too. Poor children are just going to be lazy drug addicted adults.

17. Of course I don't want to see the homeless on the streets or beggars either. I don't care where they go, I just don't want to see them.

18. Osama, Obama, same thing.

19. Obama isn't an American citizen. He was born in Hawaii.

20. I am not a bigot. Just because I call Obama a black Muslim baxtxxd doesn't make me a bigot.

21. If you're in trouble then go to your family for help. It's not my fault if you don't have family that can help.

22. I don't want to hear about other people's hardships. I've had plenty of my own. I had a paper cut this morning but you don't see me whining about it.

23. No more taxes. I can educate my own children, build my own roads, put out my own fires, and I don't need law enforcement. I've got a gun.

24. I am sick of poor people feeling entitled to food and shelter. The people that are entitled are rich people. They deserve every penny their parents earned.

25. We need more jobs because there aren't enough jobs to go around. But if you don't have a job then you're lazy or haven't mastered Jedi mind control.

26. It should be legal to shoot a Democrat. They're all stupid and don't care about this country.

27. Guns don't kill people. People kill people. They just use guns to do it. And if a kid gets accidentally shot then that's because they didn't teach their kid how to use a gun properly.

28. I love everybody. Jesus told us to. Except democrats, (especially black democrats), gay people, poor people, communists, Mexicans, feminists, Muslims, atheists, and anyone who shares the same race/religion or background as those guys responsible for 9/11.

29. I don't care what your background is, how poor you were in your country or if the life of you and your family is in danger - I don't want you in my country. Unless you pay all the fees involved and jump through all the hoops. No matter how bad your country is you don't deserve to be here. I do because I won the birth lottery and got to be born here. You want to come here, then go home, get an education, make some money and then you can come back.

30. Socialism is Communism. Same thing. Exactly.

Janette Is At It Again

As if giving away one free book isn't enough, she's now giving away a second. Just leave comments on her blogs to enter.

An Author Incognito
Janette Rallison's Blog

I would post pictures of these books but I'm on a public blog and don't have access to them.

Giveaway.

I love to support other authors. So I'm posting about a giveaway. Janette Rallison/C.J. Hill is giving away a copy of Slayers. Just go to her sites and leave a comment and you could win. Although frankly, I want to win.

Janette Rallison's Blog
Author Incognito

The Dream Scheme Part 3: What's an MLM?

"Hey, are you busy Tuesday night?" my friend asked.

"I have to separate Legos from potato chips in my son's room, but if you've got a better offer I'm game," I said.

"I'll pick you up at 6:30," she said.

"What are we doing?" I asked.

"It's a surprise."

I love surprises. If people want to surprise me then I'm all for it. Was it a new place for dinner? A movie? A concert?  Or something really cool and unique like dance classes with male models.

My friend picked me up and drove a half hour to the city. We pulled into the parking lot of a hotel and I followed her through the lobby to a meeting room. She paid some money to a woman sitting behind a table and we found seats near the front. By this time I was getting suspicious but I was still hoping for a comedy show, or maybe it would be a motivational speaker. After all, this was my friend and you give friends the benefit of the doubt. Like when they tell you that you are totally an awesome singer and you should try out for American Idol. You should completely believe that and be shocked when the judges throw you out of the audition room.

It was a motivational speaker all right. A guy motivated to have everyone join Quixtar which is a division of Amway. He wasn't even all that cute.

I would have gotten up and walked out but I had no car. I had no way of getting home. I contemplated using my thumb, but warnings of hitch-hiking ran through my head because everyone who picks up hitch-hikers are serial killers. It's a well known fact. So I was trapped in a prison with people in business suits with glazed over eyes as they drooled over dreams of their futures with Amway oops I mean Quixtar because no one actually said the name Amway. Even in Amway the name Amway is a dirty word. I eyed the refreshment table warily. Who knew what was lurking in that red colored liquid. If I drank some would I too feel the need for a pink pastel skirt suit?

I listened to this man put down everyone who had a J-O-B. And yes they do spell it out because I guess it's a swear word. Which means that they don't appreciate all the people that keep the world running. You know, like doctors, police officers, garbage men and the people in the offices of Amway and the factories that make their products and the shipping companies that ship their products. He was trying to convince everyone that one day they could give up their J-O-B and become rich. No mention was ever made of product, just of the opportunity.  He promised that people could have lavish lifestyles and never have to work. He also said that there were those who are negative people who wouldn't be able to see the vision and they should be avoided, you know, like your friends and family members. Now we probably all have family we would like to avoid, but it's cheating to blame that on your MLM. "Sorry I can't be at the family dinner and watch Uncle Tom get drunk and get my cheeks pinched by Aunt Bessie and watch a slide show of Cousin Jake's trip to Brazil where he was being held hostage by drug lords because you all won't join my business which is really silly seeing you all have lowly J-O-B's. Yes I know that Aunt Tess is a teacher and Cousin Jodie is a nurse and my brother Mitch has his own restaurant but they are still just stupid J-O-B's and my business could set them all free and if you can't all see that then I have no time for you when I have people to train who actually appreciate what I do and will make me rich."


So what is an MLM?

It stands for Multi Level Marketing. Although that's a misnomer because marketing is aimed at getting customers, not at getting people to join your company. Basically it's shaped like a pyramid which they will point out that all businesses are shaped like pyramids. So what makes it different? That will take several posts to discuss. You can get a better idea of how they work by reading The Dream Scheme parts one and two which is on the sidebar.

Watch Out For These Characteristics of MLM's

1.) You will rarely knowingly attend an introduction to the business meeting. You will find yourself pulled into it. Either a friend will take you without letting you know that's what they're doing, or a friend will invite you over for dinner and introduce it, or there will be some other subterfuge to get you there. People don't say "hey I'm in XXXX, do you want to hear about it?" Okay, sure some people might say this but they're often encouraged not to. Especially the ones with a bad rep, like Amway. In my case it was called Quixtar and I had to do research to find out that it was actually Amway.

2.) They will try and convince you that you are wasting your time working at a job, and that you have to have your own business to be happy and successful. There will be talk about trading time for money. There will tell you they have a new business model, one where everyone can be successful if they want it bad enough. It's not a new business model. It's been around for a long long time and the reason that businesses don't use it is because it doesn't work in the long run.

3.) There will not be much talk about a product or a service. The focus will be on the opportunity. The product or service is not really important.

4.) They will warn you about "negative" people. Translation - anyone who doesn't join up with the company. And they will tell you that you need to cut negative people out of your life.

5.) They will speak to your greed. Now greed is something that we pretty much all have and it can be a fine line between desiring financial success and stability and being greedy. They will promise big houses and expensive cars and trips around the world. They will claim that it will require very little of your time. They will tell you that you can be a better parent if you can take your kids to Disneyland. They will wrap up the dreams that many of us have into a package along with family and church and interconnect them. Good parents are rich. Good Christians are rich. Good people are rich.

I was not happy on the drive home and I told my friend that I wasn't interested in the opportunity.

Sadly, even though I still wanted to be friends, I watched as my friend drifted away, concentrating on people that joined into her various business schemes. It's too bad. I really liked her.

How to Escape From the Kids - Hunker in the Bunker, Secret Rooms & The Winchester House

Apparently there’s this guy in BC who built himself a bunker. And no, it's not the marijuana bunker.

Most bunkers are holes in the ground where food and water and ammunition are stored. I always think of that Twilight Zone episode where the guy and his family holes up in a bunker and threatens to shoot the neighbors who are trying to get in. I mix that up with the story of the guy and his friend who are holed up in a bunker not realizing they’re underneath a nuclear dome.

And then there’s the movie of the family who are living in one for twenty years with their kid not knowing that life goes on as before up top. Now there was a bunker for you. The guy had his own supermarket.

And this is like the bunker in BC. This man hasn’t built a bunker, he’s built a house under his house. There are secret passages and doors that go nowhere and four stories. Yep, four stories of this place.

I like it.

It’s the secret passages and fake doors that have got me. I grew up reading girls adventure stories. There were always secret passageways and hidden rooms in them. I would go around whatever house I lived in searching for a hidden room or passageway. If Nancy Drew could find them, then why couldn’t I?

I never found one.

I searched whatever yard we had. Surely there would be a tunnel somewhere. Those English kids in Enid Blyton books who had a parrot that carried on conversations and parents who would let them sail around the world without adult supervision, always found tunnels.

I never found one.

I went into forests hoping to stumble across a cave somewhere. One of those caves that go on forever and smugglers used to hide their booty. After all, I lived on an island, there was bound to be some kind of smugglers cave somewhere filled with treasure chests of jewels and coins.

I never found one.

I’ve always wanted to live in a castle. There was bound to be secret passageways and rooms, unfound for generations that I could discover where some poor woman had died of a broken heart, and her hair could still be found in the brush on her dressing table beside the dried rose that her lover had given to her before he was captured by pirates, never to return.

I can’t even find a castle, never mind a hidden room.

The Winchester House

I remember when I was little, seeing something on TV about the Winchester House. The Winchester widow was, lets say, not able to keep her six shooters straight, and felt guilty over the money she had from the sale of guns. She was also convinced that if she kept building she would never die, or something like that.
There's secret rooms a plenty. Stairs that go nowhere. Doors that open to nothing. It's a maze where no one has been able to completely count the rooms although they estimate 160. And that's after the earthquake that toppled the top three floors of the seven story structure. The floors were never rebuilt.
I want that house. Sure it's haunted but the kids would never find me there. But then with my sense of direction, I would never find my way out. I would be sentenced to wandering that place forever.

Still, it would be nice to have a hidden room, one that the kids don’t know about. I could have pens.

I could have pens and chocolate. It would have a doorway hidden behind someplace they would never go, like a cleaning cupboard, and I would hide there whenever they’re searching for me because they want me to settle an argument which they won’t listen to me about anyway.

There would be no phone in my secret room. I hate the phone. Have you ever noticed that just as your getting settled down to a project, most likely one that you haven’t wanted to do and have procrastinated about forever but you’ve finally got your self doing it, and you’re going along at a nice clip, the phone rings and you have to climb the stairs or come down from the tree, or fall off the roof, only to be greeted by someone who has a great deal for your long distance calls.

And then the kids come home and wonder why the phone has been smashed to pieces.

And then of course something distracts you and you never do get back to that project even though you’ve left the pieces of it all over the place. So now you’ve got a new project to procrastinate about.

Yep, I need a secret room. Now, where did I put that spade?

And Now For Something Truely Ridiculous: 10 Ways to Kill Someone With a Door Knob

Please note. This is for entertainment purposes only. Do not try this at home. If you do try this at home, do not take me to court saying that I made you do this because your home/school life is miserable and you hate Mondays and nobody understands you and your mother made you wear the sweater that your Aunt Flora made you for Christmas or your boss just announced that you have been transferred to the same town where your in-laws live.

10 Ways to Kill Someone With a Door Knob

1. Attach 3000 volts of electricity to door knob and then meow outside the door.
2. Send away for a kit from the Acme Company. Using the paint that comes in the kit, paint a door on the inside of an outside wall on a fifty story building. Attach Acme doorknob. Write “Fire Escape” over the top of the door. Set off the fire alarm.
3. In front of a regular door, build a trap door over an alligator pit. Attach a mechanism that opens the trap door to the door knob on the regular door. To get victim to open regular door, play Mini Pops on your stereo over and over again.
4. On a freezing cold day, dare your ex-husband who doesn’t pay child support but has enough money for limos for girlfriends, to stick his tongue on a frozen door knob (tell him it tastes like beer and you’ll give up asking for money). Leave him there. Oh yeah, you might want to think about picking his pockets first and hosing him down. Ah, while your at it paint a target on his butt and pretend your Robin Hood. (Note: this is not a reference to anyone in particular. Really. It isn’t.)
5. Hand several parents socks with door knobs in them. Now have Barney come to visit and ask him to sing the I Love You song. Come to think of it, you could dress up that ex in a Barney suit first.
6. For a change of pace to your boring old snowball fight, have a door knob fight instead.
7. 

   To add excitement to your pillow fights, insert door knobs into pillow cases.
8. Send away for Acme kit. Insert bomb making supplies that come in kit into door knob. Invite friends to play “hot potato” with door knob. Have anvil fall on someone’s head.
9. Tell someone that calling a mobster a “door knob” over and over again is a term of respect. Introduce them to a mobster.
10. Use Acme paint from Acme kit to paint a door on a brick wall that leads to an entirely enclosed secret room. Invite someone to go inside. Erase door.

Hmm, I was just thinking. I’ve got that secret room in the basement that I’ve been digging with a spoon. I wonder when it’s fully excavated and furnished, if I could go in and erase the door from the inside and paint it back on when I’m ready to come out. They’d never find me.