Donald Trump's To-Do List

I got it.

Yep. I got it. It took some undercover work, money spent on black clothes, a divers suit, night time

goggles, a lock picking kit, and a taser gun, but I got it.

Donald Trump's To-Do List

I realize I might be putting my life at risk exposing this, but I believe in putting things out in the open that affects the public.

So here it is. If you don't hear from me again, you know that something went horribly wrong. I want my disappearance investigated.

Donald Trump's To-Do List

• Do my daily mantra. "I am the greatest man in the world." Breathe in. "I am the greatest man in the world." Breathe out.
• Go to hairdresser. Check into the possibility of more hair plugs. I need it fuller.
• Accuse all Muslims of being terrorists. Threaten them with a database, wearing symbols, and destroying their mosques. After all, it's been successful before.
• Remind everyone about what a great business man I am.
• Declare bankruptcy.
• Go into my vault and roll around in my money
• Say something insulting about women. That gets them riled up and makes them look like the unreasonable creatures they are. If they're ugly, then tell them that.
• Have tryst in private jet with ____.  Give her a diamond necklace and a picture of me. Tell her she's the only one.
• Read for 15 minutes from Mein Kampf
• Have all employees sign a contract stating that they will become members of the Republican Party and that they will vote for me. Refusal to sign will be cause for termination.
• While firing people, check to see if there are any women in my employ who might get more favorable media attention than I will. We don't want that happening again.
• Practice saying "You're Fired" in front of the mirror. I know I'm already the best at it, but it's just so much fun.
• Have tryst in private yacht with _____. Give her diamond earrings and a picture of me. Tell her she's the only one. 
• Tell everyone that all Mexicans are drug dealers and rapists.
• Study Adolf and his party and figure out where he went wrong.
• Talk to lawyer. Wife is getting a little old for me.
• Look for new wife among Miss USA contestants.
• Round of golf!
• Admire myself in the mirror. All those Apprentice women flirted with me for a reason!
• Remind everyone about what a great philanthropist I am.
• Check to see which so called comedians made fun of me. Look closely at Rosie O'Donnell. 
• Make fun of disabled people.
• Call Rosie O'Donnell fat.
• Practice walking on water. 
• Insult veterans, especially the prisoners of war. They shouldn't have been caught. Who knows what information they leaked.
• Sue someone. There must be somebody.
• Get quotes on building that wall. Make sure we hire cheap Mexicans to do it.
• Criticize the media. Call them a bunch of losers and liars.
• Call media to make sure they know where to find me.
• Have quality family time. Dinner maybe with all my kids. Remind them that I can take away everything, ruin their reputations and erase them from the will.  
• Have meeting with leader of Isis. Talk about further plans to tear Americans apart so that I can be King of the World. 
• Thank God for making me the greatest man in the world and worthy of being King.