Sunday, January 3, 2016

Why Do I Hear Petula Clark When I Think of Downton Abby?

  1. Petula Clark has nothing to do with Downton Abby other than they're both English.
  2. First Sybil and then Matthew and yet they allow Edith to live.
  3. Mothers who love their children will hide the bodies of their children's lovers.
  4. Living in a house the size of Disneyland may seem cool, until you realize that with all those servants you have to have, a person can't get a bit of privacy. They know EVERYTHING. There is no dancing naked in the kitchen.
  5. Servants have no privacy either. Or days off. Or families of their own.  And they need permission to own a typewriter or at least a very valid reason why they need one.
  6. Beware of taking in stray children from the upper class. Just when you fall in love with a child and think of it as your own, they will take them away, leaving you bereft and suicidal. Beware of husbands who do this to you too.
  7. No one cares what the fox says.  It's just there to chase.
  8. Within moments of a man dying, his young widow will have several suitable suitors falling all over themselves trying to get to her. The fact that she has money through her infant son has nothing to do with this. No one notices that the men she has sex with tend to die.
  9. The fashion was to wear elegant potato sacks in the twenties. 
  10. Good Mommies and Daddies saw their small children for a whole 10 minutes every evening. It was bonding time and necessary for later on when one of them would need a parent to hide the dead body.
  11. It takes years and years for a butler and a housekeeper to figure out that they should get married. Everyone else has figured it out, but they are too involved in their lucrative careers to notice this.
  12. If old friends come to the door you must act suitably ashamed. Especially when it is revealed that you're not really a good butler at all, but a bad actor. Although you've fooled everyone so far into believing that you are a good butler so you must be a good actor too, although all actors are bad.
  13. Handsome footman who look like a young Simon Baker are to be terminated. He's drawing too much attention away from everyone else even if he isn't given hardly any lines. 
  14. The bad butler always gets away with stuff. 
  15. If you are of the lower class, do not name your daughter Daisy. She will never be more than a dishwasher. Daisies get stomped on.
  16. The more noble a man is, the more likely he will end up in prison for a crime he didn't commit.
  17. The older a lady gets, the funnier she is allowed to be.

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Holly Jahangiri said...

Took me a minute to realize you weren't talking about the flip-side of the 45. I was totally baffled as to why you'd hear "I Know a Place" when thinking of Downton Abbey. Though low lights and fine music would fit, too. ;)

Is it wrong that I aspire to be Violet and rather LIKE Mrs. Hughes's wardrobe?