Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Four Part Harmony That Often Squeaks

I' m late, I'm late for a very important date, no time to say hello, goodbye, I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.

Well, it's not that bad. I missed my deadline for this post. But that doesn't mean I'm giving up. You see that's the difference between goals and resolutions. A resolution is a promise you make that you break in a matter of days, decide you screwed up forever, and then give up.

A goal on the other hand, is always there, just out of reach and if you have an off day, or week, or month, or year, you can still work towards that goal.

There's something about New Years that makes so many of us, including me, wanting desperately to change overnight because we are that generation of instant gratification. I blame Sesame Street. Bert and Ernie need to be responsible for something more than the letter R and the number 4.

Speaking of the number 4, that's the challenge today, the number 4 and I thought about how that relates to goal setting. See, tying it in together here.

If you think of yourself as having four integral parts it might be easier to set the goals. Four is a number of balance. It takes four sides to make a square. Four legs are needed for tables and chairs. Dinner service comes in fours and if you've ever danced or done aerobics, most counts are in fours.

So how do you create a personal balance of four?

Physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.

If something is missing it's off balance and we end up searching for something that we sometimes don't know we are missing. So let's talk about it. See I can even do this without one joke.


 Forget the Olivia Newton John song. The physical part of you is your core. If this isn't taken care of then nothing is right. Physical is more than diet and exercise and seeing medical professionals on a fairly regular basis. Physical also means taking care of your survival needs. Do you have a place to call home? Is there warmth in the winter and light when it's dark and water to wash with? Do you have a comfortable bed and pillows and blankets? Do you have a chair to sit on, and a lamp to read by? Is there food in the fridge and in the cupboards? Are there dishes, glasses and cutlery to use? Do you have transportation and insurance and money in the bank?

I know there are people out there who sing the Beatles refrain "all you need is love" and there will be spiritual leaders out there who will say to seek God first, but even missionaries know that you can't teach the spiritual if people are hungry and need a place to rest their head. Take care of your physical so that you can take care of the rest of you.


This is the computer part of you. What are you feeding your brain? I have a motto..."The moment you stop learning is the moment you start dying." Yes, I made that up all by myself.

This doesn't mean you have to chuck everything and go to med school. What it does mean is that you need to be challenging yourself. It could certainly involve going back to school either full time or even just a class for fun. Maybe you like doing puzzles. Maybe having intellectual conversations and arguments keep your mind sharp. Learn a new language, a new skill or more about your work or hobby. Read a book or a thousand. Play games. Study a subject. You need to keep your brain working.


Without the emotional part of you, you're just a robot with a mind and body. This is where you connect with people. Mainly your family and your friends, but it can also be with yourself. This is where you care for others and allow others to care for you. This is your heart. So what do  you do here? You volunteer, help a neighbor, learn a skill such as first aid or how to care for a child, give to charity, but mostly you spend time with loved ones. It can be playing games with them or other activities. Talking it out, holding a hand, or even having that big fight that has been simmering on the back burner and needs to explode before it becomes a huge bomb that takes down the house. Reach out to people and make new friends. Did you know there's even a thing on the internet called Meet Up, where you sign up and find people who have the same interests as you. Yes, alone time is important, but so is people time.

Love this video from President's Choice.


Some will say they don't need the spiritual, but this is your soul. This is what makes you, you. For some God is involved, for others its a reconnection with self. The spirit can be fed in different ways. Going to church, going on nature hikes. Having alone time. Saying prayers. Reading inspirational writings. Creating something with your hands and mind. This is where your hobbies can come into play. Do you write, paint, do crafts, play an instrument, or build things with your hands? This feeds your soul. This is the part of you that is you, not the job you, or the neighbor you. It doesn't matter that you go to work as an accountant to take care of your physical, because this part of you might be the one where you play in a rock band on the weekends.

So is your chair a little wobbly? Does it need some bracing up on one or more legs? More than likely it does because it's almost impossible to achieve perfect balance in this life.

And that's where goals come in.

The only failure with a goal is when you give up on yourself. Even giving up on a goal is not a failure, because maybe it wasn't the right goal and you recognized it and changed it.

So go wiggle your butt at 2016 and start out on the path to your goals.


Mayura Amarkant said...

All the best for your goals of 2017. Looking forward to reading more such posts as part of UBC.

Here is what I wrote recently. Do take a look and let me know...