I Am Not Pregnant. I'm Fat. Thank You for Noticing.

I'm sick of it.

 Sick of it I tell you.

I am polite to you. I help you find what you need in the store. I smile and speak cheerfully.

And then you ask me when the baby is due.

It's rude.

 I never asked you when you're getting your teeth fixed, comment that your hair color is wrong or tell you to see a dermatologist.

 I don't criticize your clothing choices, your selection in handbags, or ask you when you're going into an old age home.

 So why do you point out that I'm fat?

Sure, you think you're being friendly, and someone might argue that I should feel complimented that you think I'm still young enough to have babies, but when you ask me when the baby is due and I have to say "I'm not pregnant" you embarrass you and me.

Did I tell you in my conversation that I was expecting a baby? If not, then you are assuming things and asking highly personal questions.

After all, I didn't ask you about the last time that you had sex with your husband.

 I've had seven kids. Seven. You may not know that, because I didn't tell you, but I didn't tell you I was pregnant either and you felt you had enough information to say something about it.

In the future, never assume that a woman is pregnant. Unless you hear it directly from her as in "I'm going to have a baby", then keep your mouth shut.

Let me repeat. I am not pregnant. I just ate a watermelon.

Jeesh, some people's kids.

And to prove that I'm not alone in this, I give you Jennifer Garner.

Jennifer Garner Confirms Baby Bump 

 

Let us all unite and proudly say "I'm not pregnant. I have a permanent baby bump!